Peter's Patter - the final countdown

Four weeks to go is usually the start of my countdown. It’s the time when I can start looking forward instead of moaning about how long it is until I go away.

Four weeks to go until I can put my feet up and have a glass of wine whilst soaking up the sun in my parents back garden.

Four weeks until I catch up with all my friends and family. Four weeks until we can switch off and relax. Four weeks until I drive onto the ferry. Four weeks until….oh for crying out loud, I forgot to book the ferry tickets!

That’s one way to ruin my final countdown as panic set in when our scheduled ferry turned out to be fully booked.

Thankfully we could head out the day before which we hadn’t planned to but since the Heb Celt festival is fully booked our children are now free to join us on the Saturday.

It’s great to hear that Heb Celt is fully booked but such a pity that local kids can’t go unless they book months in advance for a festival on their doorstep.

I offered to buy the girls pogo sticks so they could see over the barriers but they flatly refused.

So the ferry tickets were sorted and the final countdown began again.

Only four weeks until we go to the Showcase Cinema, Buchanan Galleries and have trips to the seaside.

Four weeks until….oh for crying out loud the sister in law has just decided to get married!

Sure I’m happy for her but she has been living with her partner for over 20 years so surely they can wait a few more months?

Now I have to pack a suit and tie on my summer holidays, something I have never done in my life.

Apparently I am not allowed to attend the wedding in my t-shirt, shades, shorts and flip-flops. So what if I am the best man!

Now instead of sun cream and shorts it’s wedding outfits and hair-do’s.

My offer of a barbecue as a wedding meal has been turned down.

My heartfelt suggestion to have the wedding in my parents back garden was also rejected as was Magners and ice instead of Champagne.

So now I have to spend my holiday searching for wedding outfits, getting haircuts and then sweating profusely whilst two people who already seem to be married and act like they are married, finally get to say “I already do!”

I cannot wait to go on holiday!