And the BAFTA goes to...
Next month sees the 2021 BAFTA awards, where those little gold masks will be dished out to people who gave a tremendous acting performance during the previous year.
As ever, these awards will be given to actors and actresses across the world in recognition of their ability to tell a story through enactment, using a range of skills such as a well-developed imagination, emotional range, expression and the ability to interpret drama. Sounds like something parents do every day!
I reckon I could easily win a BAFTA with some of the performances that I have pulled off over the years. Like other parents I did my acting experience early on with some credible performances trying to explain why my daughters had to eat vegetables or why they couldn’t have coca-cola every day of the week.
Then Christmas and that man Santa Claus really stretched me, particularly when the girls got older and started to question every angle of my story. My BAFTA, and potentially OSCAR, winning performance was a good few years ago when I was taking my daughter back from her friend’s house in Tolsta.
Just outside of Gress, a rabbit came running across the road. Now I call it a rabbit but at the time my daughter knew them as fluffy, wuffy, bunny wabbits which makes them a lot cuter than they actually are.
This one had obviously been reading ‘Watership Down’ and thought he would see what all the fuss was about.
As I drove over Mr Fluffy, my daughter let out a squeal and asked if he was alright. My acting talents kicked in immediately as I calmly adjusted my rear view mirror and waited just the right amount of time before saying: “Oh there he is, he made it after all”.
This should have been enough but then my daughter asked “What was the thump under the car then daddy?”
Quick as a flash I told her “that was just a wee stone darling!” then sped quickly round the bend before she could s ee the bloodied carcass!
I eventually told her the truth a few months ago and managed to act as if I was mortally wounded when she accused me of lying to her.
She then looked me in the eye and said the most hurtful thing imaginable: “You’re a bad actor dad!"