Blah, blah, blah

Only two weeks to go till the General Election and I cannot wait till it is over. I know I should be engaged and have some knowledgeable of the pros and cons of all the main parties involved so that I can make the correct decision come the 7th May but I have had all the interest sucked right out of me over the years and now every time I listen to any of them speak, all I can hear is blah, blah, blah!

Ever since New Labour recognised that the only way to win the election was to appeal to Tory voters, politics has become tedious. Now every party tries to appeal to every voter and we end up with watered-down policies and watered-down politicians.

Whatever happened to the mavericks? In elections gone by every party had someone who would make you sit up and listen. Now the only maverick we have is Nigel Farage and people are actually going to vote for this guy. He might spout a load of nonsense but I bet all the other leaders wish that they too could speak their mind once in a while.

Watching the leaders’ debates on TV is like watching Dodgeball. Questions are thrown then the leaders bob and weave to avoid answering them. The only applause you can hear comes from the Party spin-doctors as their candidate successfully avoids having to tell the truth.

Oh how I wish had a spin doctor when I was young. It would have helped when I got caught stealing sweets from the shop up the road:

“Look mum, it’s not about the sweets. It’s about the deficit. Year after year my pocket money has gone down so much so that in real terms I have fallen behind every other kid on the street. The apples are only a symptom of the problem created by you and Dad!”

Thanks to these spin-doctors no-one is able to give straight answers anymore. They all look and dress a certain way. They cannot be seen to step out of line or enjoy themselves too much and most important of all they have to have a credible excuse for not taking drugs when they were at University!

Politicians have to be squeaky clean now. Years ago they went through life without too much scrutiny whereas now if a Politician eats a burger the wrong way or was kicked out the Boy Scouts for smoking they find themselves front page news and on the receiving end of a mauling from the press.

British politics itself has become so bland that even comedians are having a hard time finding something funny to say about it. Every party is too afraid to step far enough to the right or left to make a difference and all we have left is bland middle ground politics. In other words it is now boring.

If my children were still babies I would force them to listen to Jim Murphy or Nicola Sturgeon as I am positive that a Labour lullaby or a few words from the Sleepy National Party would help them off to sleep.

At the Independence referendum we were all led to believe that people were more engaged in politics but I get the feeling that this election will prove that in reality it is quite the opposite.

People are even voting against Ed Miliband because of the way he looks and speaks! Presumably these people don’t have mirrors in their house but can they really base their choice for Prime Minister on how dashing they look?

So would a make-over for Cameron, Clegg, Sturgeon or Miliband really make the difference? If so then the only good news would be that Boris Johnson still has no chance of ever becoming Prime Minister.

If Labour loses this year’s election then I would recommend that they make Aiden Hunter, currently making females swoon in his role as Poldark, their next Leader of the party.

They would win at a canter and Nicola Sturgeon wouldn’t dare have a go at him.

In the end, regardless of how you think are voting, you are really only voting for the candidate or the party that you dislike the least. Hardly a ringing endorsement should they then be elected is it?