Peter's Patter: The girl's off to college...

Only kidding but in all honesty since she started work in the Boatshed we hardly ever see her anymore. For the last 8 months I have felt like a prison warden every time I knock on her door to tell her to stand aside whilst I bring in her dinner. She works late hours so we are always in bed by the time she comes home. Last night we were worried sick as she hadn’t come home and it was five in the morning. Apparently she was chatting at her friend’s house and fell asleep! Well at least one of us got some sleep!

So whilst we will miss her a lot, you can see that there are a few things we won’t miss which will help soften the blow. I will also rake in a fortune from using less electricity as I can finally unplug the electric heater in her bedroom that has been permanently on since she turned sixteen.

Ironically I need to save money to help fund her life at college. Last week we went shopping to buy stuff for her flat and after an hour in Primark and Tesco my Visa card started to melt. By the way, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, why are there no seats for bored fathers in these shops? We supply a lot of the money they take over the counter each day so the least they can do is allow us somewhere to sit when we feel faint.

She needed absolutely everything. She needed so much that I started to think that there should be some charity to help students buy all this stuff and then I realised there is….me! To be fair she has saved up a lot of money from her job so a big thank you to all the generous tippers at the Boatshed, your money has gone to a worthy cause.

Which brings me to her flat, no more draughty old houses that smell of damp and mould, student accommodation has gone upmarket. Think of Travelodge with a shared kitchen and you won’t be far wrong. Electricity, heating and Wi-Fi all included with security access doors? Sounds very similar to the place she was living in not so long ago except she has to pay over £100 per week.

I think I will start charging her when she comes back for the holidays!